


Marjolras

by HipsterGavroche



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, marius doesn't gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-15 03:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipsterGavroche/pseuds/HipsterGavroche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend shipped Marius/Enjolras. I had to prove her wrong. A series of 11 very short fics, originally posted on twitter. Very cracky and ooc, only intended for humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Enjolras was cleaning up after a meeting when he felt a presence behind him.   
"Hey, Enjolras," said Marius. "I know this might seem kind of weird, and I've only been here a few weeks, but... It's just, I really like you. And I was wondering if maybe you'd go on a date with me?"  
"No, you fool!" Enjolras said before bludgeoning him on the head with a club. "Don't you know I'm in love with Grantaire?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Enjolras," Marius said, sliding into the chair next to the actual Greek god revolutionary leader.  
"What do you want, you little shit," Enjolras muttered, burying his head in his book.  
Marius grabbed Enjolras's chin, pointing it up towards his before leaning in for a kiss.  
Before Enjolras could stop him Marius already had. "Oh wait, I forgot," he said. "/I don't even gay/."


	3. Chapter 3

Enjolras walked up behind the sleeping man in the back of the Cafe Musain. He hated it when people didn't pay attention to the meetings, but he had kept his lover up late the night before.  
"Hey, baby," Enjolras said, slipping his arms around him and kissing his forehead. "Oh shit," he said as Marius's dweeby face looked up at him in shock. "/You're/ not Grantaire."


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey, Enjolras," said Marius. "I brought you some coffee. Expresso with milk, right?"  
"Oh," said Enjolras, looking up in shock. "Uh, thanks?"  
Marius sat in the chair next to Enjolras, drawing his gaze. "I need help," Marius said.  
"With what?"   
"How do you tell someone you like them?"  
"Are you...coming on to me?" Enjolras said in disgust.  
"No! Of course not. I'm talking about Cosette."  
"Oh good. Because, you know, I'm in love with Grantaire."


	5. Chapter 5

"Enjolras, I have something to confess," Marius said shyly. "I- I think I'm in love with you."  
"Are you kidding me bitch I'm already in love with Grantaire and at least he's also sexy and alsO I'M AARON FUCKING TVEIT AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT YOU LONELY SOUL," Enjolras yelled.


	6. Chapter 6

"Marius! Why are you drinking so much?" yelled Enjolras. He was accustomed to minor drinking, but this was reaching Grantaire-like proportions.  
"I was trying to be like R so you'd love me," said the lonely soul.  
"Don't you remember? You're in love with Cosette."  
Oh," said Marius in his drunken state. "It's just your luscious flowing golden locks look so alike that sometimes I forget. And also, I don't gay."


	7. Chapter 7

Marius was walking down the street one day when his whole life changed. He spotted the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.   
"Is that- is that Enjolras?" He said. "He's grown out his hair. It's so long and luscious! And that dress he's wearing is gorgeous. And he's hanging off the arm of an old man- I'm so jealous! I have to be with Enjolras, because he looks damn sexy!"  
"Are you okay, Marius?" said Enjolras walking up behind him. "That's Cosette, not me. Also, I'm in love with Grantaire."


	8. Chapter 8

Grantaire took a drink from the bottle before passing it to Marius. He watched with some disappointment as the other man downed the rest of the bottle.  
"Relationship problems?" Grantaire guessed. Marius nodded.  
"I'm in love with Enjolras and he won't notice me!" Marius whined.  
"Bitch please. You don't know half of it. Also you're in love with Cosette."  
"Oh yeah I forgot. Well thanks for the help," said Marius, standing up to go do lonely soul activities.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm in love with you Enjolras!" cried Marius.  
"I'm in love with Grantaire though," said Enjolras.  
"Can't we all just agree Marius is in love with Cosette and Enjolras is in love with Grantaire and that Marjolras cannot be a thing?" complained the writer. "I'm tired and want to go to bed."


	10. Chapter 10

Enjolras was giving a speech when Marius came up behind him, slipping his hands into Enjolras's pockets.  
"Grantaire?" said Enjolras, turning around. The smile that crept onto his face disappeared when he saw who it was. "Get away from me!" he screamed. "Out of all the things I could love-revolution, Patria, Grantaire- you aren't even on that list!"  
"Oops," said Marius. "You look like Cosette from the back. Y'know, golden locks and everything."


	11. Chapter 11

One day Enjolras and Grantaire were making out in front of Marius's chair when he tapped Grantaire on the shoulder.  
"Can I have a turn?" Marius said in his dweeby voice.   
"Ew of course not," said Grantaire. "He's mine, all mine."  
"Who cares about your lonely soul?" said Enjolras with disgust.   
"Oh. And I'm in love with Cosette. Bye now!" said Marius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this particular series! I hope you enjoyed. Again, this is meant entirely for comedy and was specifically intended for a few of my friends, so there may be some inside jokes and I hope no one's offended. Also, I don't mean to ship-bash in any way, if you ship it then go for it :D


End file.
